When I was a child, I was shy and quiet. I barely said anything about myself. Even in high school, I didn’t speak about myself much. I mostly just listened to others and gave advice when they asked for it. I guess that was part of the reason I started my 20s in social work.
I’m an introverted type, so working in computers made sense for a long time after that.
I’m still shy with some things like asking people out on dates. I often do that through social media because it’s a little less scary. Also, sometimes it’s really hard to get people alone to ask them out.
These days, I’ve got enough Gryffindor bravery in me to tackle a lot of things like networking. I think that’s a skill I’ve learned from working as a project manager. Sometimes I come off too strong and say the wrong things.
I’m still learning.
It’s a common thing that happens in the martial arts. When we try to correct a problem, like cutting wrong with our sword, we over correct. Sometimes we do it deliberately because we know that once we get used to the change, we’ll relax a bit and then it will be at the level it should be. In one of our setei kata, the manual tells us to do an almost vertical cut. It’s awkward and most can’t actually do a vertical cut, but we try to in order to get as close as possible to it.
It would be dangerous to get too focused on getting a vertical cut there because it would likely lead to injury. Specifically, rotator cuff injury most likely.
You can go too far in trying to make amends with someone. I’ve learned that one the hard way too. Actually, most of the things I know I’ve learned the hard way. It’s why I offer up suggestions to people when they tell me they’re struggling with something whether that’s focus, eating, writing, or anything else. I like to try to save people some of the pain I’ve been through.
I don’t try to prevent all pain though. It’s one of the best teachers.
Balance is found in the in between.
Sometimes it’s really hard to find balance though. We’re emotional creatures. When the emotional part of the brain is poked, we often become irrational. Sometimes even if we have training that should inoculate us against losing control.
These days I think it’s possible that I sometimes I come off as boastful. I don’t really know if I should do anything about it. I’m just doing my thing. I do know that no matter what I do, some people won’t like me. Speaking of doing my thing, here’s the video of my second level black belt grading for those who are interested.
I’m going to keep searching for balance and part of that is not being so sucked into my work that I don’t have time to spend with loved ones. I firmly believe that the only way to have things worth writing about is by experiencing what life has to offer.
Off to enjoy some time with my family.
Guid cheerio the nou,